Fidelity has become a tall order in most marriages. While having extra-marital affairs is not limited to married men alone, it’s widely assumed that they are often more prone to cheating.
We asked a few men who preferred to be anonymous why married men cheat and here’s what they said:
Mr. O.L.
One of the major reasons some men engage in such risky behaviour is the lack of exciting sex at home. Some men are bored and want more sex or interesting styles, and instead of explaining what they desire to their wives, who may not be interested anyway, they can get what they want out there. And trust me, it is either they regret it later or get unrepentantly addicted to cheating.
For some men it’s all about ego. They want to know that they can still get an attractive lady, especially one who has been playing hard to get. They want to know they still ‘have it.’ Personally, I doubt men cheat for companionship, and unlike women, very rarely will a man start out having an emotional affair, it usually starts and ends with sex.
Also, I know many men who just date other ladies to show off to their friends. It’s almost the same way they show off a new car. If they have friends who have hot girlfriends, they also want to show that they too have their own hot babe. This doesn’t mean such men don’t have a gorgeous woman who is great in bed, an awesome companion and home maker.
At the end of the day, for most men, cheating is just a personal choice. It’s hardly ever the woman’s fault. While some will say women need to do more to keep their man, the truth is that the only thing that can keep a man away from illicit sex is his own self-discipline.
Mr. T.F.
I believe one of the top reasons men stray is when the woman gets nasty and starts to nag; this can make a husband spend more time out and inadvertently push him straight into the hands of other ladies.
Another factor is when the woman becomes complacent and stops looking after herself. Due to the visual nature of men, this may influence her husband into looking elsewhere for stimulation.
However, a more striking reason is peer pressure. If a man’s circle of friends are all cheating, then he will most likely do same. Another important factor is lack of communication. A couple should be able to talk easily with each other on any issue. Once you start confiding in the opposite sex, you may be become vulnerable to that person and be taken advantage of, especially if the accomplice offers more adventurous sex and becomes fond of you.
Mr. B.D.
I believe that some men choose to philander out of peer pressure or due to incessant nagging from their wives. However, to be honest, most philandering men have no reason whatsoever; they just like to cheat. They may be married to be most beautiful women in the world but will still want to stray. That’s why I always advise my female friends not to lose sleep when their partners have affairs but should rather focus on raising good children and looking after their homes and themselves. In my opinion, there are some men who will always stray no matter how pretty or good in bed their wives are.
Dr. S.A.
Boredom! Some men may suddenly find their wives boring intellectually, sexually, too consumed by her career, the children and anything else, and decide to hang out with friends who end up leading them to other women.
Also, when a man is emotional dissatisfied or feels unappreciated by his wife, he may decide to find another woman he can confide in and who will boost his ego. For some, they may decide to just flirt with other women for the thrill of the chase, just to see if they can still win over another lady.
There are also some men who have very troublesome wives who are forever picking fights with them. They therefore prefer to spend time outside and in the course of this, end up meeting all sorts of women.
Lastly, some men cheat because their wives have cheated on them or are still cheating and decide to retaliate by having their own affair.
Mr. U.O.
First, there is a scenario where a woman selects a man, targets him and seduces him. Usually, this is very difficult for any man to resist, hence King Solomon’s advice to men to jump out of the window when faced with seduction. Don’t stay and try to bind and cast. Run!
Then, some wives bruise their husband’s ego. Men have huge egos that need regular massages. This is something the ‘other woman’ knows how to do very well. Even if your husband is doing something wrong in bed or in any aspect of life, a woman should learn how to correct them without bruising his ego. For a start, never criticize him in the middle of the act as this can completely deflate his ego. Wives need to learn to humor their husbands by allowing us bask in this grand illusion of being ‘in-charge’ as this may be one of the keys to a happy marriage.
Another is lack of communication. Many couples do not share what ‘turns them on and off’, and end up cheating out of frustration. Women should learn that variety is the spice of life and should not be too shy to experiment. They should try having sex at different spots; car, outdoors, office, etc., initiate different sexual positions that make the man always want more. Every man wants to feel desired and this is something the women outside have understood.
Appearance is another. Women need to remain attractive to their husbands.
